Non-Drunkard Drinks

I was looking for a good Pina Colada recipe when I came across some non-alcoholic recipes

If Mormon get-togethers included punch options like these, maybe I wouldn't have gone to those evil raves and dark clubs over the Ward Teen Dance:

Mountain Dang - Remember to use the caffeine free version!

Safe Sex on the Beach - might need a name change, because the only safe sex is no sex, unless you've been married in the temple; but even then it should be indoors, on a bed and in missionary position, preferably with a Returned Missionary.

PacMan - Like with most LDS recipes, you need to upsize the amount of ingredients used. And for you Jack and Jill Mormons (or Ex-Mo's) adding some vodka or/and white rum gives it an extra yummy kick.

"Your Mormon Overlord is dead"

Those words, from my boyfriend who was reading Fark, was how I found out about the biggest news in The Kingdom.

I saw him speak in the late 90s and I was awed at how old he was. He was born before at least one of my grandparents, yet even at that time, he had outlived them (this person never smoked and I don't think they ever drank either, save for mass, so it's not an argument for the Word of Wisdom)

Regardless of lifestyle, everyone has to die at some point. For Gordo, this was his.

The Sweet Stuff

Coke (the pop, not the white stuff) became a part of my life mid-way through grade school. Up until that point, when I moved in with a Catholic relative, I had lived with mostly Mormon family who was of the mindset that 'hot drinks' = caffeine and therefore cola was of the devil (however chocolate is okay, since there isn't alot of caffeine in it, so it's not a big sin)

The first time I tried Coca-Cola was from a small glass. I sort of smelled it first, like an exotic wine, and then took a small sip. Shortly after I started drinking it, I decided to take one of my recently lost teeth and place it in a cup full of cola; When I removed it, it was (more) rotted (then before)

This didn't stop me from gulping the stuff back. In middle school I was drinking close to 2L daily. Thankfully my Mormon parent believed in my agency, and allowed me to drink it (even purchasing it for me) when I visited them.

It's amusing looking back now, but then I really thought I was seen as a rebel (by some, I was) for drinking caffeinated pop! If only they knew what I do now.

Today I'm anti-Coke, but it's for political and not religious reasons.

I apologize for the lack of entries lately, not that many people read this anyways. I have been sick lately (No prayers, please)

Mormons on Speed

When I first heard of Mormon tea, it was intriguing. According to some relatives (who saw no harm in eating, and eating, and eating) it was still against the Word of Wisdom, because it contains caffeine (but eating chocolate isn't a form of apostacy) Except for my non-mormon parent who drank regular tea, noone I knew drank any sort of tea. The few people I came across who drank Mormon tea, many years later, were converts.

Imagine my surprise when I found that it's ephedra, which is basically legal speed (Not that I would know about that from personal experience....)

Mormon tea in bottle form

You can't blame the pioneers for any possible wrong-doing; They certianly needed a pick-me-up to travel the better part across a continent.